The erratic adventures of shay & jax
The beard competition is in the bag, and was a roaring success. This will now lead to me feeling slightly less over-whelmed, and dicking about on Popmundo a bit more. I'm toying with bringing Ellis to life, finally, but can't think of a way of doing it. Well, I can, but it's not popmundo-approved way, if you get my drift? Anyway, I'll get some more pics up as and when they come through from the photographers. For now, a little fan service. It's my blog, and I'll leer if I want to.
In Pop-related news, Shay is about to shovel baby poop, and Jax is messing with swimsuit-clad 16 year olds. I like to keep it classy...
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Well, maybe not all. Just the cute ones. Like Roger. And why, I hear you ask? Well, I dunno. Maybe it's the rugged jawline, or the burly, muscled frame, or the sensitive poets soul, or the... Okay, got distracted there for a minute! :D Let's try this again: fuck all y'all for not updating your weeblies and generally entertaining me in my coffee breaks. I miss Rice's lunatic rants, memes and inappropriateness. I miss Bagel's snark. I miss the lady behind the Foulquiers in general. I miss Roger's toned abs and perfect buns. *sigh* Anyhoo, let's focus on the positives. It's raining. If it continues to rain for the next week, it will surely aid ticket sales for the beard and moustache competition that the boss and I are hosting next week, in aid of the local air ambulance charities. (Yes, that's right - I dunno how it works in developed countries, but here in the UK, these essential life-saving services exist thanks to ordinary people volunteering their time and money - but that's a whole other rant!) The Ashes is now under way in both the men's and women's forms of the game. I hold out a lot more hope of us being successful in the women's Ashes than the men's, but as neither test has gone the way I expected so far, what the fuck do I know? Other than the fact that Bell just has to be dropped now, as having this bad a run of form in such a highly scrutinised series can surely be doing him no good at all. The result of the women's 2nd one-dayer was disappointing, but the game itself was excellent to watch. Meg Lanning's century was a joy to watch, and her run out of Charlotte Edwards at mid-wicket would have been a thing of beauty, if it wasn't a bleddy Aussie doing it! What else? Well in the strange world of Popmundo, Jax is going to be playing football (I grit my teeth and use soccer when in character, but here? Never!) for Barcelona next season. Well, he's more likely to be watching games from the bench, but such is life. Shay has finally told Lily that he used to be Shayna. Obviously she reacted with the kind of small-minded revulsion that you'd expect from such a intolerant hatemonger. I think we all know that that one is pure evil, a fact further highlighted by her continuing to hide her ongoing relationship from poor Shay. No doubt she plans to reveal the truth when it will cause the most emotional scarring... *attempts a serious face* And, because we haven't had one in forever, bask in the almost impossible loveliness of Gogo Blackwater. Have a good weekend - and write more blogs!
*'Today' in this case meaning 'in the last few weeks'.
I think that's it. Number 1 in an extremely irregular series: I suppose it's all a continuation of our current obsession of projecting this perfect life to the outside world. Like everyone has their dream job, is married to someone hot, has sex 8 times a week, cooks gourmet shit from scratch every night and then takes in a little light opera. Fucking hell, I figure I'm doing well when I peel myself away from Netflix for an evening. Or, as Killer Mike put it: Apart from the redundant you (which is the fault of the caption guy, not Mr Killer) that seems sensible enough. Life's too short to waste drinking Carling [/beersnob]. I had a little jolly down to Falmouth on Saturday - the location of my stag do and regular beer festivals. The boss had to work for the day in Truro and so, in the interest of showing solidarity, me and a mate sat in a gaming bar, got drunk and played Super Bomberman and NBA Jam. Because that helps, right? More towns and cities need places like the (incorrectly named) 8-Bit Bar. Not only is it stocked full of geeky thrills, they also had good local beers and a couple of very prett-err, I mean helpful barmaids. I need to find more time to game with friends. Okay, so it's not exactly going to save the world, but it's better than watching RuPaul's Drag Race on Netflix... I actually have game-stuff to report too! Shay has recruited the decayed form of Ava Ayling into the new band. Once the ancient spirits of Evil get hold of her, she'll be right as rain! I need a band banner, and advice on a good Modern Rock chain. Two more members TBC dreckly. EXCITEBIKE!! Shay will be learning to play drums, and taking over on the horror-themed tip from V. So far I have vague ideas for songs such as:
Hopefully (and this may be beyond my meagre skills) the songs will not just be gorefests, but also metaphors for RL/Popmundo stuff like our obsession with celebrity, addiction, homelessness and whatnot.
Or maybe just gorefests. :P Tomorrow I go to pick up my two-careful-owners Smart Roadster Brabus. Only 7 years old! Oh, I know - the motherfucking glamour, huh? However, I am absurdly excited, as my cars to date have always been fairly hum-drum hand-me-downs from various family members. I'm also going to buy a guitar. Mid-life crisis at 37, I reckon. I figured that I've already done the going bald and getting fat part, so... Okay, I'll stop boring you with my bullshit. Cricket references and HTWs next time, I promise. For now though, I have episodes of Drag Race to watch! The Rock has come ba- oh no, not that. Finally the lady behind the Foulquiers (aka Cookie - another one that's jacked my food-themed weebly nickname gimmick :P) has got her site The Architecture of Loss to a point where she can publish. It's not complete but there's still a fair bit of info there. I'm liking her insanely detailed eye-colours, and the fact she lets you in on how old the characters really are. It's also a pretty site; all the character photos are lovely, and the whole site design and gives you more than a hint of the author's Goth tendencies. And who doesn't love Goth girls? I like them so much, I married one! Rice, you should definitely check it out - there's a good opportunity for letching on the first page, and I know how you love to leer. :) Anyway, there are no character bios up yet, which I will look forwards to as I'm a big fan of her writing. However, in the meantime, I can reveal that all of her characters are either madly in love with Shay, or in denial about being madly in love with Shay. All of them. Honest - you can trust me...
What else? Well, Vera has just met her step-sister. Amazingly the fact that Marianne was related to V through Dean has completely escaped me to this point, but putting the two of them in the same room should spark some good Odd Couple-type moments. Butters has asked where the heavily tattooed women and cricket references are. The answer is: they're right here, homies! Let's start with the cricket. Oh my giddy aunt, does the England side look bad right now. We didn't bowl too badly in the first test, but we were an absolute shower with the bat. Too many people out of form and, what's worse, no-one seems to want to knuckle down, dig in and grind. Yes, it's not a lot of fun to watch. but what England really needed in the first innings of their second test was a Boycottesque 350 that took the best part of two days out of the game. Slow everything down and take some heat out of the Aussie attack. Don't get me wrong, the Aussies are bowling well, but we are batting abysmally. A turgid draw in this test might just have taken a little spring out of the legs of Mitchell Johnson et al. As it stands, I can see the Aussies doing us 4-1 (I'm predicting a Gower-era style last test victory when we've already taken a shoeing. :P) What was the other thing again? Oh yeah! This: *Dribble...* The only thing that could make that image more perfect would be tattoos showing through her stockings. Oh, and for the thing on her head to fly away. :P
In Popmundo news, Shay and Océ continue to become closer still. Feel free to slap him if he starts acting all lovestruck in public! Vera has knuckled down and is starting to churn out songs, so I'll have to get writing soon. I discovered a song in my notepad that I don't thing I ever blogged - have you lot seen the one about her attractive in-laws? Lastly, I'm personally feeling better after a shitty week last week. I'm still a snotty little urchin, but things are getting better overall. It's still so mild here - 8-10 degC in the daytime - that the house is sweltering with just the Rayburn running. We've barely lit the woodburner. It better get cold soon, the woodshed is bull to bursting, and I want to get chopping! :D Not a whole lot to report, dear readers. V got a bit younger thanks to her dealer hooking her up with some of the good shit. Thanks Bobs! :) I'm still tempted by the penthouse package. Do I want V to be 27 though? I guess that's not too young, is it? I'm also warming to the new Teya avs, and have even received some random letching. W00t!
Things are slowly (think glacial speeds) becoming more serious between Shay and Océ. She revealed her vulnerable side the other day, which was so cute that Shay completely forgot to bite it (fnarr, fnarr...) I'm not sure I ever see either of them giving up the other people in their lives, but who knows? What else? Well, not much. What regular features haven't I done in a little while? What do you lot miss? This weekend is going to be a good'un. I'm off to a beer festival in Falmouth today, followed by a comic convention in the same town tomorrow, then swinging by an antique fair on the way home. This means:
What's new in Popo? Well, the British English translation is now complete, at least as far as all the 'pending' crap is concerned. We'll start a top-to-bottom check soon(ish). V's bandmate Neil has retired, and V is currently the spare wheel on the Shut Up Kelly tour. Shay is gearing up to tour again, providing the band holds together. Nix is making grumpy noises and, let's face it, Oirish is always a hangnail away from another suicide attempt. If they went, I dunno what I'd do. TGF isn't a success, either in the rankings, or in terms of RP (it was supposed to be a funk-metal band, and has ended up just another optimum sub-genre chasing nothing band). I suppose he'd become V's song-writing pet. Ah well, worry about it if and when it happens! For the moment, TGF has a tour where they actually have some world fame, so hopefully there are at least some rankings gains in their near future. Have a fun weekend, party people! I think I broke Popmundo. The shock of Shay blogging, after about - what? A year and a half? Something like that. Anyway, that seems to have murdered the game engine to death.
TO DEAAAAAAATH!!!!11!eleven! I apologise sincerely. I'm getting back up to speed after a fun cross-country trip. The bride looked beautiful, the groom looked like a ringmaster, and pretty much everyone looked very, very warm indeed. The only downside was the trip home, which was traffic-tastic. Not much news on the Shay or V front - they are both about to embark on new tours. This will be the last ever FTB tour, after which V's bandmate Neil will take a dirt-nap. I think I may ask nicely if V can keep the band, and she can turn it into a cowpunk artist. She'll have to take a small break, and stock up on songs, but she should be ready to get back on the road sooner rather than later. Shay is, somewhat foolishly, perhaps, going to attend Joni's wedding. We shall see whether drama ensues. Apparently Madi wants to kick his head in. Other than that he's becoming very close to Océ, but they both seem to be fairly devout singles at this point in their lives. Still, we shall see. I mean, Joni's much cuter younger sister will be arriving soon, right? And Shay has form on that score... Oh, and the Foulquier weebly is well in the works, and looks as pretty as a picture. It might take a while to complete, mind you, as the lady behind them runs half the people you've ever met in the game. :P So, Shay dumped Joni. As I'm sure you've all realised by now, Shay is pretty much the badasses' badass, so this was done ruthlessly and without any thought for Joni's emotional well-being. "Hit the bricks, ladydog, and gimme a hand-shandy on your way out!" was the basic thrust of the conversation.*
(* Some of these scenes have been created for Entertainment Purposes...) Anyway, I shall have him blog about it soonish, when I'm feeling less lazy. Not sure whether to have him mope, or feel relieved. Somewhere in the middle, I suspect. I am, however, considering having Ellis absolutely despise Joni just so I can get some bitchiness in to juxtapose against Shay's incessant reasonableness. :D V is hanging out with Fay for a week, so she's happy. As revealed by her current blog, I'm toying with getting her hooked on painkillers again. If nothing else, it's a decent explanation for why she's so shit and quiet. The man like Bread is off to sunny Brighton to attend a good friend's wedding. I shall be wearing a cravat. Like. A. Boss. See y'all dreckly! |
WTF?!This site contains out-of-character information for characters and events in the MMO Popmundo, as well as general navel-gazing and apologies for never updating. "If you are offended by words like: Shit! Bitch! Fuck! Dick! Ass! Whore! Cum!" Ice-T
Who the Hell?!
The author is a professional person in his mid-30s, old-school Hip Hop head, Punk Rock fan, Plymouth Argyle supporter, comic book reader, and general lo-fi nerd. He lives in the countryside with two cats and newly-wed wife, all of whom seem to be above him in the pecking order. He is a big fan of tea, fig rolls, H.P. Lovecraft, facial hair and quiffs. While MPB robbed him of his quiff-rocking dreams, he does sport a dope handlebar moustache. Categories
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